In the prolific Chilean blog circle, the theme of "How to Alienate a Chilean" has been circulating by bloggers such as
Emily who states: "tell them you don't like
palta (avocado)," "ask for tap water," and "argue that pisco is Peruvian." Peg who writes
Cachando Chile thinks you shouldn't mention that "you don't like sandwiches," state out-loud that "you don't get the concept of
onces," or "tell them that you don't like Joan Manuel Serrat." And
KeM puts her 2 cents in by frankly noting: "tell them you majored in French Literature," or "if you're a chick, drink a beer."
Very interesting points. I can't say that I personally identified with all of them, but most are pretty legit (ie: "are you
sure want water?? it's
just water, are you sure you don't want soda/wine/juice/beer??). In geneneral, I do almost anything possible not to commit a cross-cultural faux pax, but when residing in another country it is bound to happen sooner or later. For example, when I first arrived to Chilito, I was volunteering for a foundation and still sticking to my Boca-Burger-made-possible vegetarian diet and it was clear that everyone thought I was a human form of ET/Alf/Stitch/Marvin. And it didn't help that I hardly spoke a word of Spanish-- school Spanish to boot (leagues different from Chilean Spanish). Needless to say, after seven months of volunteering, I left with one good friend. My única compadrita gringüita.
It was really a bummer because despite appearing to be mute and seriously aloof, I always wanted to join in the conversations-- which flew faster, and with more slang and
Chilean dichos, than I ever could have fathomed. Thus, I resigned to listening, observing, and being the freak girl who didn't eat animals or talk about what I did on the weekend. Somehow, I actually absorbed a ton from these (one-sided) interactions but probably ended up alienating a few of my coworkers in the process... just by being different.
Which got me thinking... there are
ene cosas that a "gringo" could do to alienate a Chilean, or Mexican, or Indian, or whomever. But what is it that the Chileans do to equally alienate us gringa(o)s?? Acá van...
1). Making comments about personal appearance. Here in Chile, people nickname each other based on physical characteristics such as "Guatón" (fatty), "Negro" (dark skinned), "Flaca" (skinny), or"Rubia" (light-haired). Once, LL even called me "Gordita" (little fatty) and after resisting the urge to cry/being horrifically insulted, he explained to me that it'd be the same as someone calling you "Honey" or "Sweety." Hmmm... In Chile, political correctness is nearly non-existent. In FeriaDisco there is a section of CD's called "Black Music." That's how upfront they are about physical attributes. They don't feel the need to beat around the bush when it comes to looks, and they aren't offended/taken aback when someone comments on their appearance. It's okay to tell someone that they're packin' on the pounds, that you have an Argentine ass, or what, what's that on your face?? a ZIT????? Así es.
In the US, that is a
strict no-no. Never
ever would you (or I) make a comment that could possibly offend someone on the grounds of physical characteristics. You just don't do it. Simple. So I can say I was incredibly taken aback by what happened to me at the foundation some months ago when a girl coworker of mine, literally came up to me, placed her hand upon my stomach, and says: "wowwww, what have you been eating lately?? you're getting faaaaat!!!" Cue eating disorder... Not really, but I seriously almost cried. Wouldn't you??? Thus: way #1 to alienate a gringo(a).
2). Making fun of Spanish-speaking abilities. This one really pushes my buttons. If I'm at least making an effort to talk, to get to know you, to join the conversation and
not be the mute, aloof gringo, don't make me feel like an idiot/awful by 1) mocking me, 2) stating
exactly what I just said, but with an over-exaggerated "gringo" accent, 3) straight up laughing at me. Throw me a frickin' bone here people, I'm trying. Sometimes I wish I spoke fluent Norwegian (skål!!) so I could just say whatever the hell I wanted without people having the slightest clue-- at times, it
does work against you to speak the world's language...
3). Insist that I wear shoes/socks/a jacket/a parka.I know you care about me getting pneumonia and dying from not wearing socks around the house, but if my feet aren't cold and I've lived 24 years doing the same, just
please live and let live. I
like going barefoot. I
like wearing sandals when it's above 50° (family rule-- no shorts/sandles if it's colder). I
like not dying of heat and think it's totally whack when I see hoards of people on the street bundled up like babies in a blizzard when it's 60° outside. I'm an adult and if I get cold because I made the stupid decision to wear flip-flops it's my own fault. But at least let me make the mistake.
4). Saying that North Americans are "cold."Okay so this one is a bit trickier. If a whole continent, country, or nationality is generalized on
any basis you are bound to be wrong. Sure, there are minor cultural differences like not kissing on the cheek or making out/getting to second base in public but generally, in my (almost) year here, I've found that North Americans are more "warm" than Chileans. There is the whole personal space bubble thing that we have ingrained in our subconscious, but once you get past that I think most gringos are more friendly, outgoing, and interested in branching out that most Chileans (ugh I hate making generalizations, but I'm basing them off personal experiences). Such as my last point-->
5). Not expressing an interest in getting to know you/me.This notion directly correlates to #4 because, here, you can go a whole, what?, 6 months without a person (who you see everyday, work with, etc) asking a question about you. I still haven't figured out if Chileans just don't care because they already have their firmly established groups of friends or they're just nervous/complacent to talk to a foreigner. Personally, in this aspect gringos get the gold. I think, as a whole, we are genuinely interested in other people, like to get to know those who surround us, and make an effort to include people who happen to be in the same circles of contact. Again, generalizing is dangerous, but in
my experiences, this is what I have seen in several instances. It's nice to have the interest reciprocated- even if minuscule.
Again, again, to make my point across, I hate generalizing. It's pretty much- without fail- an awful tactic in describing cultural differences, but these 5 aspects are personally relevant and each one can, of course, be accompanied by the opposite. I live in Chile because I like it. I enjoy coming to work and my coworkers are fantastic,
demasiado amorosos. LL, if it hasn't been made perfectly clear, is a saint. An amor. There's always two sides to the story. Chileans who do things to alienate gringos; gringos who do things to alienate Chileans. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
