Credit & Debit:

In college, I took two heart-breaking, hellish, life-scarring semesters of Accounting. Never have I tried so hard at something yet have failed so miserably. Absolute failure. Finance, on the other hand (after ditching RRhimself and Prof. Appalling-Mustard-Shirt midway through the semester) treated me a bit more fairly. Without having to Tara Reid myself to the professor, I sacked myself an A. Felt like a genius. Most (pretty much all, get real) of this information has since escaped from the thinning hold my memory has weakly grasped upon my brain cells. But let's leave numbers outta this equation... The real idea I had for this blog post was the notion of debits and credits in a relationship. Debit: He takes me to lunch. Credit: I take him to brunch. Keepin' it PG amigos, but you get the idea.

Awkwardly, in my current situation, I'm finding myself quite buried on the debit half of that bitch of a balance sheet (don't think it ever once squared). Like, I'm encountering that I don't have all the means to credit all the debits that I incur. Example: Clearly, in Chile I have no car. If I did, I'd be dead. Of a brain aneurysm. From road rage. That means I'm unable to "return the favor" of being picked-up, dropped-off, etc. Debit. In Chile, I don't live at home (slash comfortably) so I can't offer the same snacking/noshing variety that LL offers me with fruuuit, veggies, salads, desserts... DEBIT. DebitDEBITdebit. In Chile, I can turn into a helpless little baby in an instant, LL helps me, and smiles. What do I do? Ask him for help again and eat one of his apples. DOUBLE DEBIT. As such, I've been feeling like a completely worthless GF and feel like a total leach not being able to credit the debits that I most certainly owe.

I mean, I could straight up give him cash. But I think that's considered bad form/a mutation of prostitution. I could probably do a lot more things but they still would never add up, I will never be outta the red!! Thank god my mom is able to make me look like less of a chump and sends LL his favorite little snackies... But still people, I'm stugglin'. Strugglin' to balance la cuenta of the relash.

He better bet that when he comes to FoCO he'll be receiving the treatment not even Oprah would be of capacity to give. When that time comes (cough, ugh, next X-mas, cough) I will stuff him with the most delectable dinners, drive him til his ass turns square, take him to the coolest places only a local knows about, and shamelessly credit my account until those numbers turn black and I'll have enough credit to debit-out my life til next Christmas rolls around. Deal, deal??

//Have YOU ever been in this sitch?
//How would you balance your relash's BS?
//What grade did you get in Acct/Finance, and does it correlate??
//Is there some kind of Relash BS class I can take?
//Will I ever get outta the red?!???
//