ONE. YEAR. ANNIVERSARY (!!)

Dear Chile, Chilito, Chi Chi Chi Le Le Le,

Happy one year anniversary!! Can you believe we made it?! Can you believe that it was exactly one year from today that I boarded the plane, headed about as south as planes fly, without the slightest clue as to what the outcome would be? Man, what a year it's been, huh? You've taught me sooo many things, made me happy, sad, frustrated, stoked, confused, and so many other emotions that always seem to become wildly magnified when in your company. We've laughed, cried (hopefully that emo stage is over 4 good), we've (and by we, I mean I) fallen in love, gotten robbed, learned new languages, volunteered, scored jobs, traveled (unfortunately, I don't really know you as well as I'd like to), and lived the foreign life, a good life, a life with lots of surprises- where no two days are the same.

With you I got my first grown-up job, a job with a suit, legit benefits, lunch!- a job with a bright future, with a great company. With you, I moved into my first apartment all by myself. It is something that I have been aching to do, and you finally pushed me to my limit (not you, las locas) and I did it all on my own- well, with the help of LL of course. And I love it. You gave me my own space, a peace I had been craving. With you, I have experienced the ups and downs (vacillating as they may be) of being a young adult, faced with so many decisions that I don't necessarily feel 100% prepared to make. But you force me to try and do the right thing: sometimes it turns out just fine, other times it couldn't have blown up in my face worse (will refrain from examples). Decisions that will, without a doubt, shape the upcoming years of my life, that will, for better or worse, maintain a presence in what I do, where I am, and how I am living. All I ask is that you help a sistah out, help me do it right, the best possible way I'm able, help me tener claridad, que esté tranquila.

Yes, I admit, I've blamed you for how deeply I miss my family. But, in the end, it's not really your fault. Like I said, it's me who is making the decision to live here. The cliché has finally rung true: It's not you- it's me. And I'm sorry that sometimes it makes me surly, it makes me sad, that sometimes I don't know how to express my worries that I might be here forever, far far away from the family I love so profoundly (not to mention Whole Foods, Victoria's Secret, New Belgium, Pizza Casbah, Gibs Bagels- oh, how the list could go on and onnn...). You just seem to have this characteristic that brings out the worry-wart that has always been a scratch's length under the skin. You got me itchin', my friend, that's for sure. I'm trying to loosen up about it and listen to my mama when she says to "stop and smell the roses." And, of course, to "chillax." I mean, it's not every Jane or María who can say they've lived for an extended period of time in a foreign country, going there knowing not a soul, not knowing what (the heck!!) to expect. For this, you make me stronger, more attune with myself, and ever more wide-eyed than before. So thank you, and please understand when some days are more difficult than others.

Luckily, one the A++ things you have so deftly dropped into my life is my beloved LL. He is one that brings ease to those tricky days, one of the few who calms my nerves, worry and uncertainty of being on a different continent. For this, Chile, I love you. Never have I felt so content in a relationship-- no, my apologies, not with you, with him. He's the luckiest strike I've bowled and, I will maintain this pair (you+me) to be with him as long as I breathe your smoggy air. No matter how much you piss me off, frustrate me to no avail, no matter how many papers I have to sign, or times I have to visit the dreaded extranjeria, nothing you can do will make me jump this ship. LL, you've got me hooked dahling.

So, querido Chilito, gracias for the last 12 months-- they've been everything, nothing, gone beyond, and slid blows all expectations I could have pondered. And as much as I dig ya, I hope this year flies cuz, baby, I'm headin' home to my majestic purple mountains and fruited plains come Christmas. Hope you understand.

Un abrazo,
Abejita

PS- in case you don't recall, here are some highlights from the 1st year of our relash:

January: Arrived luggageless to Santiago, realized how royalled f'd I will be if I don't learn Spanish, stat. Getting to know you with the NGO who brought me here.
February: Visited Torres del Paine with Amy. Amazing. Breathtaking.
March: Getting to know you better- museums, concerts, theater...
April: My best friends, TerryTots, LO, and Bouss come visit- a week of pure bliss, wish they didn't have to leave. Met Chilena bff Karen Castle ... 1st trip to Mendoza, Argentina (gotta renew your damn tourist visa every 90 days).
May: Notmuch, other than MEETING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. In an interview. Rarr.
June: Meet up with Lo and Bouss in Buenos Aires, and we also hop over to Uruguay (loved it, dying to go back). 23rd: LL and I go out, on a date (for real, not another interview).
July: 1st visit to Algarrobo <3. HOME for two weeks, love CO.
August: Begin radio show, celebrate LL's week long 26th B-day.
September: 1st Chilean bachelorette party. Celebrating 18 de Septiembre con los mejores amigos, lo pase la raja!!!-- Like 4th of July, but better!
October: 2nd visit to Mendoza: wine tasting, fresh air, bike riding, battery recharging for my FIRST day of work!! I'm like suuuuch a grown up now...
November: PARENTS VISIT (bestthingever). Awesome Manu Chao concert.
December: Moved into my OWN apartment!! Celebrated my 24th B-day with the amor de mi vida y todos mis amigos!! 1st South American Christmas with my adopted family :)

It's be bakan, la raja, estupendo, choro, todo!!! Ha sido de todo un poco!!! Hasta el proximo Chilito!!!