"The Barrio"

I've been meaning to write a funny, satirical piece on the ridiculousness of my apartment's current energetic situation, been pondering it for the last week, but, today, life in "the barrio" got a tad more complicated.  Wires run-amok, crumbling walls, and astronomic bills seemed to fade into the limelight when, this morning, I stumbled across some tweets detailing a night in "the barrio" where I live. 

It all started when I sleepily dragged myself out of my building this morning, 8AMish, to saunter to the bus stop across the river.  Nothing interesting (just the normal rush of sprinting Peruvians destined towards their consulate) until I turned the corner and found a couple of reporters, news vans and the like recording a live broadcast.  Hmm, ok??  Something fishy must have gone down.  It's odd because, during the day, my neighborhood is totally cool, calm, and full of business people walking crowded-ly, absentmindedly (the Chilean norm) down the tree- and store-lined street.  Very big-city feel.  Of course you can stumble across your random drunk-on-a-bench or bum sleeping in a corner, nothing too scathing for daytime.  BUT- at night, the whole situation changes because turning said corner there is a street packed only with bars and "clubs,", some of which are operating, some of which are abandoned (due to the generally shady history of "the barrio"), but all of which attract a less-than-cuico crowd, and lots of putas dressed in not much more than lingerie.  I keep my distance from such locales but am all too close every Thursday through Saturday night when the bass of the Reggaeton permeates my pathetically insulated walls, forcing me to don earplugs and nearly suffocate myself with pillow-fashioned sound barriers.  Beside the point.  Lets just make it clear that, at night, it's not safe. 

Which I was aware of.  But, during my 6 months of living in my PollyPocket palace, I hadn't heard of anything atrocious besides the occasional pub-brawl-- until today.  It seemed that the sordid past had, well, passed.

Notsomuch.

Regressing to said tweets- I open my computer and head directly to the 140lettered site to see if anything had popped up.  Nothing, nothing, nothing... Then around 9:30-10ish El Mercurio and Publimetro release the following Tweets (respectively):

Atropello en barrio Suecia dejó un muerto y tres heridos: El vehículo impactó a los jóvenes a gran velocidad y lue... Hit and Run in Barrio Suecia leaves one dead and three wonded: The vehicle hit the young men at at high velocity...

Una persona muerta y tres heridas deja atropello en barrio Suecia... One person dead and three wounded after a hit and run in barrio Suecia...

It turns out that three young guys were crossing the street and another guy driving a car drove at them at a flying speed, purposly hitting them and sending them flying up to 10 meters across the street.  He drove away at the same racing pace and the Police have yet to catch him or release any further information on the case or his identity.  On my corner.  Across the street.  In my "barrio." 

Besides facts and stipulations, there is not much else that can be said.  I could lament, vent about the threat to my personal safety living in this "barrio."  Complain about the lack of humanity that floats in the smoggy Chilean air.  I could go on a tirade and name every little piece of shit that bothers me about my living situation at the moment.  But considering the fact that a family just lost a son, a brother, a cousin, a nephew, I'll let it all go.  Again, there is not much else that can be said. 

Today it will be a 3 minute blub on the news. 
And tomorrow?
Just another Saturday in el capital.  

Mondays Are (not) Cool.

Mondays in general are always kind of a slap in the face wherever you live, whatever you do-- it's universal my friends, but Mondays after a three day weekend are much, much less pleasant. And, I mean, it's not like this Monday was particularly horrendous but I would have appreciated if the following things had not occurred:

1.  Light my one nice, white button-down shirt on fire.  At 7:30am.  I know it sounds like a feat of obvious proportions, but sometimes you just forget that you hung your shirt on the light to air-out the nasty smoky-sweaty bar odor.  And sometimes its just too early in the morning and it doesn't exactly occur to you that you turned your lights on and said article of clothing is dangling precariously from said fixture on the wall, and you go take a shower.  And then your shirt is on fire.  No need to worry, all is miraculously well in the PP apt.  Phew.

2.  10:30am.  Bathroom break.  Flush the toilet.  See, in slow motion, cute red earring fall ever so slowly and daintily from right ear, right into the circular flow of the flush.  Wave a sad goodbye as it disappears into water-closet oblivion.  Wish I had twitter mobile so I could have tweeted something silly.  *Sigh*

3.  Have weekly career/identity/life crisis.  What am I doing?  Where am I going?  Am I a tad bit of a waste of a human being?  How am I gonna pay to even have a life with these Polly pockets?? Who AM i (Zoolander style)??  oMG watch that clip, it's hilarious btw.

4.  Change of guards at the gym I go to, but am not actually paying for.  Makes for an uncomfortable interaction.  The thing is, is that the radio I do my show for (sounds quite posh, I know), has a "convenio" with the gym because it's right across the street (and on my block, CA-CHING!!).  Lucky for me, since I wouldn't actually be able to afford gym going, I used to just pass on by sin problema.  But today I make a reappearance after a considerable "sick break" and am met by a blue-contact(you're not fooling anyone honey)-wearing chica.  Attempt to explain this "convenio" which she obviously thinks I'm totally lying.  Awkward.  She gives me the stink eye and lets me pass and tells me that I have to clear it up with "Raul" later... whoever that is.... 

Anyway, that's about it.  Let me make it perfectly clear that I know my life is HELLA easy compared to like pretty much all the world, but it's my blog and I'll vent if I want to...

The Earring Eater.

Run for your life. 

Notes on San Pedro (de Atacama)

This last weekend, LL and I afforded ourselves the lovely pleasure of taking a mini-vacay to the desert oasis, San Pedro de Atacama.  Noted for being one of the most tourist-y places in Chile, it is an outdoorsman's heaven with a variance in landscapes that will literally make you dizzy (at an altitude of 8000ft/2500mt) and is sure to please while quietly emptying your pockets.  Now, I'm no travel writer because I think that in the grand scheme of things, people will want to form their own opinions about a place they visit for the first time.  I prefer that people reading this are left with more of a general impression rather than a detailed log of every sandy step that was taken, every beauty that was seen.  So I will spare you the specific details of our trip (anyway, those are my memories y'all!!) and share some insights for future travelers.

I present, my amigos, Brenz Top 10z-- Versión: San Pedro de Atacama:

1.  Bring every kind of clothing possible.  Pack for all seasons.   We experienced a booger freezing-cold and tank-top warmth in a period of less than 24 hours.  And don't forget your bathing suit just in case you decide to take a dip in the sweet water/salt lagoons or hot-springs (first time I've seen a naked Chinese grandpa, score!!).

2.  Don't go on a self-guided bicycle tour if it's an excessively windy day.  It just might turn out that you get stranded in the desert, in a sand/wind storm for hours upon end with no one to save you (except for a French couple, thank God).

3.  Speaking of being stranded in the desert-- bring a charged cell phone if you go off alone.  If LL hadn't been prepared with his, we probs would have shriveled up and died in the desert, alone and freezing.  Maybe not so extreme, but we most likely would have missed our flight and that would have really killed the good, happy vacay vibes...

4.  Stay in a hostel that isn't in the middle of nowhere, that doesn't have rocks holding the roof onto the walls, and that is known by at least 50% of the people you pass en route to checking-in.  If not, you could end up staying here.  And this website makes it look nice-- this place was a shithole-with-beds to be frank, and clearly situated in the chicken district of town because we were so lovely awakened by cockle-doodle-dooing at 5AM.  Obv we only stayed one night and peaced to this charming little hostal, which is totally recommendable and is owned by a darling little mamá named Iris.  And was the same price as the other.  No brainer.

5.  Hang with Ron, one of the best tour-guides I've ever toured with (he did all three of our excursions), and book your outings with Cactus Tours.  They are legit and Ron is rad. 

6.  Don't fall for crappy souvenirs that you can buy in Santiago/all of Chile whose prices are wildly inflated.  If it looks unique, it probably is and if a cranky store person says you have "mal costumbres" for looking at post cards, don't buy anything from his store (ugh, ass).  

7.  Water.  Tissues.  Chapstick.  Long-johns.  Scarf.  Sunglasses.  Snacks.  Mini-backpack/fanny-pack (don't laugh, that was clutch).

8.  Check out: Casa de Piedra (tasty onion soup, delish veggie empanada, totally nice waitress) or Cafe Adobe and avoid any place that is empty.  Make that rule #1 or else you will end up eating a vomit flavoured pastel de choclo.  Barf. 

9.  Even if it's really cold, really, really really, cold, take a dip in the laguna cejas where you float.  Cuz when else will you get the chance?  Are you going to the dead sea anytime soon?  Didn't think so......

10.  The last and most important--- go with someone who will take care of you if you get sick, take lots of silly pics with you, and let you sleep on their shoulder on the ride back into town from the 4am tour.  

Happy Trails!!! 

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